....Unless you write a blog about it. We've now been back in Whistler for a week, and I've recovered sufficiently enough to write a little about our experiences there. It's safe to say it is the most ridiculous place I've ever visited, and our three days there seem to merge into one long, alcohol clouded blur. Having flown to Vegas via Phoenix, our five strong group (myself, Coote, Katie, Emily and Cass) arrived in the early evening and headed straight out - first stop, Hooters; surprisingly enough, the girls' choice - closet lesbians?? Perhaps. We then returned to our hotel for a few drinks before heading to 'Pure', the nightclub at Caesar's Palace. Clubbing Vegas style is a far cry from what we've got used to in Whistler - it felt very strange not being surrounded by twenty-something ski bums, instead rubbing shoulders with middle aged men in suits, and even some black people! It's not often you come across them in Whistler..... The first night ended with an ill-advised casino crawl back to our hotel, taking in Caesar's Palace, the Bellagio, Paris, Planet Hollywood and ending in our hotel, the MGM Grand. Em almost struck gold on the way home when, having been correctly calling red or black for a couple of shady looking Mexican chaps (and winning them close to $4000 in the process), she was offered $600 as a little show of thanks. Unbelievably, Em had a turn of benevolence (slash stupidity), and refused to accept the money, despite the man trying to press it into her hand several times. To my horror, he eventually got the message and wandered into the night, taking with him Em's only chance to win big.
Our second day involved some lazing by the pool (despite slightly disappointing weather), followed by a lengthy search for an all you can eat buffet which had been recommended to us. The scale of Vegas never failed to amaze us - it seemed to take around 20 minutes to get through each hotel and getting lost was par for the course - we eventually settled on a different buffet, which still proved to be an excellent hangover cure. We spent the afternoon wandering up and down the strip, marvelling at the over the top grandeur of the hotels which line it - the Bellagio was particularly impressive. We also indulged in a plastic guitar filled with some kind of reasonably unpleasant cocktail - an impulse buy which seemed a good idea at the time; when in Rome.... Our second night finished at 'Lavo', the club in the Palazzo hotel, which was an awesome place - again the pull of the casino was too much to resist at the end of the night, and Em and I crawled up to our rooms at 7.15am, just as some neighbours were leaving for a day trip to the Grand Canyon.
Our final day was again spent wandering the strip, taking in the few hotels we hadn't yet been to; the Luxor particularly sticks in the memory - shaped like a pyramid with an enormous sphinx outside the front. The others then retired to the pool whilst I went to make my fortune on the poker table. Having dreamt of joining a high rollers table, I was quickly brought back to earth when told the minimum buy-in for some games was $10,000, and made a beeline for the $50 table. I managed to avoid disgracing myself, and the Nottingham boys will be happy to hear that, true to form, I pulled the odd bluff out of the bag; I refrained from any hissing though. In the evening, we met up with Adrin, who was our saving grace during our stay; Katie had met him at work a couple of days before leaving for Vegas - he owns and runs two tennis academies there and had enough contacts in the Vegas underworld to get us into clubs for free during our stay, a big bonus for Coote and I, who are sadly lacking in breasts - a must have for cheap entry into Vegas clubs. We danced the final night away at 'Tao', a particularly happening club in the Venetian hotel; we had a great time again, but were slightly concerned that, having left the club circa 4am, Em was nowhere to be seen. We headed straight for the casino, expecting to find her huddled around a craps table, but were surprised to see her in a quiet corner of the casino, deep in conversation on the phone. It turned out, she was on the phone to her bank in England, coherently explaining that she had been mugged in Vegas and would be needing an extension of her overdraft - a cunning ruse to furnish her with enough money to bring down one more casino... Or not.
Gambling-wise the trip was an undoubted failure - Cass was $100 or so up, but Coote, Katie, Em and I were all in the red - all to be expected in Vegas, and at least we lived to tell the tale. This did hang in the balance on the trip home, as I endured a day of hungover travelling which will live long in the memory, for all the wrong reasons. I shan't go into detail, as this blog is generally intended to embarrass people other than myself, but I can confidently say that 2 bus rides, 2 flights and a lengthy taxi journey back to Whistler were the worst way to overcome a painfully unpleasant hangover. We eventually arrived back in Whistler somewhat dishevelled and desperate to get to bed - Vegas was an awesome place, and we hope to be back there one day - perhaps for a certain Mathieu Smith's stag do.... I also had an unpleasant awakening the following day, with the news of a $125 phone bill for my 3 day stay in Vegas - just the news my wallet did not need. Donations welcome.
As ever, life in Whistler continued without us, with Leo's friend Felix arriving for a two week stay just before we left for Vegas. While we were away, Leo, Felix, Kara and KK went snowmobiling on a frozen lake, something they unsurprisingly raved about; KK got the extreme sports bug and nailed a bungee jump a few days later - such a thrill seeker. Felix also got his first taste of EuroApres and, needless to say, he came a cropper much like many before him - the night ended with plentiful vomit and an empty beer jug... Stay classy. Leo and Felix have hit the slopes hard every day, and Felix has done incredibly well having only spent 5 days on skis before coming out; we've taken him down some pretty brutal stuff and he's now nailing double blacks like a seasoned pro. The tree runs have taken some getting used to however; having arrived at the bottom of a particularly narrow one the other day, and with goggles resolutely steamed up, he observed, "the problem with the tree runs is, every time I do a turn, I shoot straight into a fucking tree!" We told him, practice makes perfect and were straight back up the top - he is becoming more and more of a powder hound with each day that passes, and we took him on the thirty minute hike to the top of Flute Bowl to mark his last day today.
Scarily, we are now just nine days away from coming home, and the time is flying by. Work-wise things are gradually dying down and we finish our assorted jobs by the end of this week - Emily is fortunate to still be in employment, however, having spent a shift the other week victimising a midget who happened to be visiting the Keg. Having spotted a small person, she asked him if he would be needing a children's menu... Unsurprisingly, the middle aged dwarf looked at her blankly, and Emily (the ever professional hostess), asked him again if he would be needing a children's menu; it wasn't until another member of the party pointed to the little fellow and mouthed 'MIDGET', that Em got the message.... and hung her head in shame. We also had a particularly satisfying incident the other day when, whilst jumping the queue at a local nightclub (thanks to Katie's connections once more), our roundly disliked landlord pitched up and attempted to get in with us - Katie informed the bouncers that we didn't know him, and he was left alone in the cold outside, crying 'I'm with those guys'... Despite the fact that this makes the retrieval of our damage deposits an even remoter possibility, the mental image of his face will always be a fond memory.
Today is the opening day of the Telus Ski and Snowboard Festival, so the final week is shaping up to be a good one. We're heading to the (extortionately overpriced) opening party tonight, and there are music and snow-related events every day in the village. Ice hockey fever is taking over Whistler at the moment, with the local(ish) team, the Vancouver Canucks, deep in the end of season play offs - they are currently 2-0 up in a best of 7 series to get to the semi final, and we are doing our best to get into the spirit of things. We also had the final house party of our stay at our house on Thursday night, and the house remains in a half decent condition, so we are crossing our fingers for our damage deposit - it would be a welcome cash injection just before getting home. All in all, we've had an awesome few weeks and are looking forward to a final big one before we get home! Lossa love, Josh Leo and Sam.
